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09 Feb

“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach’ Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…“I had to offer full commitment, but be prepared to have and offer a lot of independence too.” …so be clear when dating several people simultaneously While dating a few people at the same time is common in some countries, particularly America, it is not customary in Switzerland.But you usually need to date around to find the right match. Tijmens advises keeping each date to lunch or dinner – “absolutely no intimacy while you are dating several people,” she warns.Take German expat Lena*, a leggy blonde: she noticed that since moving to Zurich, she has not been hit on much in bars.“I mainly get approached by Spanish guys,” she admits, adding that she thinks Swiss men must be too arrogant or too scared to speak to women.

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“If you would like to find a nice partner, then I suggest you date long enough to see whether your date has the qualities that you need in order to be fulfilled in a long-term relationship before you become intimate.” Flirt coach Peter agrees, saying that as long as both parties are happy, there is no Swiss-specific rule about whether you sleep together on the first date or after 20.You need to make more effort than you think With the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, many of us expect instant hook-ups.But this ‘no effort’ mentality is a mistake when it comes to dating the Swiss.“This gives the man the green light to speak to you. Exacerbating the problem is the temporal nature of expats.Swiss people may not be keen on making an effort when they know you are likely to move on in the near future, explains Tijmens.